People who are offended by ‘Indian Matchmaking’ prove its point

Filming began on February 24, , the drama will be filmed as it airs. Murphy’s Law means anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Every time her attainable desires are within reach, they somehow escape her grasp at the last moment. After her boyfriend dumps her and breaks her heart, Xiao-tong decides to use her psychiatry expertise to help others with love at an online matchmaking service. Soon a divorce firm opens across the street from her office, threatening the matchmaking service. The divorce firm’s owner, Ji Jia-wei Danson Tang , thinks Xiao-tong’s theory and love advice is idiotic while she thinks he is a cold hearted person who doesn’t believe in love and only started his business so others can be like him.

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Divorce is out of the question, as the eight episodes of Indian Matchmaking make a point of conveying: divorcees are outcasts in Indian society.

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Now available to stream, the series follows Mumbai-based matchmaker Sima Taparia as she painstakingly works with singles and their families in India and America to find desirable mates for marriage. One client, New Jersey-based event planner Nadia, wonders if her Indian-ness will come into question because of her Guyanese heritage. With the global reach of Netflix, Mundhra saw an opportunity to present a look at dating and relationships through the very specific lens of the South Asian experience that would reach a wide audience.

That we have all sorts of different backgrounds, different ideals and ideologies. I think you can sort of learn a lot just from the examples and the specific journey of the participants.

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When Indian Matchmaking dropped on Netflix recently, I consumed it in a day, gaping in equal part investment and irreverence. After peddling reality tv shows and made-up rules to promote and examine intimacy in recent years, the streaming giant was finally dealing with a homegrown concept. The premise was no longer manufactured. Positioned as an outlet to familiarise the world with a practice peculiar to India and Indians; the documentary could have been a first-hand exploration about the evolving origin of a cultural custom and the multifarious ways people go about it.

But Indian Matchmaking dilutes an age-old practice by blunting the pointed shards on which it has stood for years. The end result is an eight-episode betrayal for the audience in India and a cut-to-fit documentary about the country and its traditions for the West, confirming every suspicion they nurtured. But in her job of a self-declared messiah it is never shown how much she earns intending to bring together people with the supposed divine connection, she falls back on caste, class, complexion, height and sometimes breadth of smiles as plausible criteria for two people to give each other a shot at spending their lives together.

In one of the instances, she convinces Nadia, an event planner in New Jersey the viability of meeting a particular boy for both of them are half-Guyanese. As conversation runs dry with no spark whatsoever, their shared nationality hardly comes to the rescue. For all you know they could be talking about a pole. Such misguided gender politics inform the entirety of the show. She serves not just as the narrator but also as the voice of the show, revealing its intent or as the creators would like to believe a snapshot of reality where ambition and marriage exist as an either or choice for women.

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Your spouse is just a set of qualifications to finally one-up your neighbours or your rival at work. Stagnant social mobility, casteist educational institutions and economic inequality glom together to create families, neighbourhoods, schools, colleges and work places where everyone has similar incomes and wealth, lifestyles, intellectual interests and ambitions. In other words, the metrics of compatibility all conspire towards upholding oppressive structures.

Practicing hyper-individuality to stand out on dating apps is disenchanting, having your personhood disregarded completely is no better. Marital rape is still legal in India. Disputes and murders over dowry are regular news items.

And the matchmakers are not psychics or fortune tellers who are reading love lines. Most matchmaking companies use computerized algorithms.

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But being an Indian woman , and rarely seeing myself represented on the small screen in dating show contexts, I knew I had to watch it as soon as it aired. My expectations were low, but somehow I was still disappointed. The series follows Taparia as she meets with clients including Akshay, Pradhyuman and Ankita, finds out what they want, and aims to set them up with their perfect match. But rather than point out that the caste system which ranks Hindus through a hierarchical structure is, in theory, abolished but still holds sway, the show sidesteps it entirely.

In its place, there is veiled language. This is what bothered me the most. We have Akshay, who wants to uphold gendered roles with his choice of wife. She claims her blood pressure will be through the roof until her son finds an appropriate match who she approves of. On the other hand, we see Taparia constantly telling her female clients they are being too demanding in their lists of what they want in a partner. She makes it clear that they are the ones who need to adjust to make their matches more compatible.

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Divorcees who are looking for a new relationship are well-suited for professional matchmaking. Thanks to Internet dating sites and apps think Match. Both single and married Americans are open to the idea of letting a professional arrange their next romance—a view held by one in four surveyed, according an Avvo study about relationships. And they tend to focus on clients who are interested in serious, long-term relationships.

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There were many statements in the show that made my face grimace into unimaginable expressions, accompanied by the rolling of eyes, rising Blood Pressure, anger and loud sighs! She exists in all her hideousness. Why do we allow shows to be aired that make a statement that a woman is nothing unless she is married and that she cannot balance a career and marriage at the same time? That marriage is the ultimate criterion of success and forms their tagline.

The answers reek of a mind-set firmly embedded in the Victorian age. Such shows only take us back to medieval times. As a global centre of employment, corporations have introduced merit-based hiring and employment to the nation. Marriage in present circumstances is based on values such as love and compatibility rather than on social standing or economics.

Though social conformities still exist that encourage people to choose partners within their own class, people are not as pressured to choose marriage partners based solely on those elements. Arranged marriages propagate the caste system openly and Netflix has given a platform to a show that is out rightly regressive. The problem with a show like this is not redundancy of representation but the inadequacy of it.


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Skip navigation! Story from Best of Netflix. I do not typically spend time watching reality TV , which might surprise some considering I was once on a reality show. Given my own experience and ethnic background, I wanted to love the show and be supportive, but to me the series fell flat and overly simplified and stereotyped what it means to be Indian. Although the couples Sima fixes up are not forced to marry, the end goal of matchmaking is that, after a few dates, the people involved will commit to an eventual engagement or Roka.

After having a Roka, the couple can plan their nuptials on their own timeline and get to know each other more. A Roka took place in the last episode of the show by the only couple that chose to move forward together with the marriage process. Now that the show is out, however, it has emerged that the couple is no longer engaged. The Roka may have been staged specifically for the show.

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